Changed & Defined by Context?

Who are we really and how do we change in context?

Have you ever asked yourself these questions? It’s something I think about on a daily basis, but perhaps not in such eloquent terms. I wonder how I’d act in certain situations. I like to think that I’m a good person, that when faced with certain situations I would behave in a way that reflects the way I was raised, but how sure am I that I would?

I recently read Don DeLillo’s Baader-Meinhoff for a class. I’ll be honest, I didn’t fully follow the story at first. It seemed to jump from one place to the next, leaving me in an unexpected place towards the end. I didn’t know how I or the characters got there.

In 2005, I decided to leave my life in America behind and move to Japan. I lived in a mountain town with a beautiful view of Mt. Fuji from my office. Much like some of the characters in “Baader-Meinhof,” I caught myself drawn to the mountain, staring at it when I would get homesick and think about the life I left behind in America. Before I knew it, I found myself exploring things outside of my comfort zone, changing and adapting to the new way of life in Japan. On one side, I found myself shedding certain western practices, and partaking in Japanese customs as if they were my “normal.” I would keep my opinions to myself, stay at the office until my boss left for the day (even if I had been done with work an hour ago), and even shower differently. On the other side of things, I was also going hiking, snowboarding (image) and trying new foods.

I thought moving to Japan would be a fun experience, but I didn’t expect it to change who I was. I expected to eat sushi, not bear and whale sashimi. Much like one of DeLillo’s characters tried to rationalize his behavior, I thought to myself when presented with a new situation “I’m here. This was no mistake.”

“Who am I really and how do I change in context?” The truth is, I don’t know the answer to that question. All Japan taught me is that life can take you down many different paths. Prior to 2005, I never thought I would end up in Japan for a year, let alone more than five years. I thought myself a pretty structured person, living life by a certain plan, but while I was in Japan, it was a choose your own adventure book. I flowed into different opportunities. There was an over-arching story/theme to my time in Japan, but I got to the (to date) end point without fully understanding the road ahead, only truly appreciating the path (and side-paths) I took after I was back in the States. To connect it to the “hip” digital crowd, much like hypertext emphasizes that the marginal has as much to offer as the central, my adventures in Japan taught me how little things that may not seem important at the beginning of the journey, can offer as much value as the big things. I was forced out of my comfort zone, and required to take a more active role in my experience.

Context is an important determinant of who we are.

It doesn’t necessarily define us, but it can alter how we see things, ourselves, and even how we behave. I’m glad I went to Japan. I see the world with different eyes now, forever changed by my experience there. Much like the characters in DeLillo’s works, things now have a double effect. I see things how they were, and how I now associate them thanks to my experiences. For that, I’m grateful.